Fuck

Honestly all I want right now is a companion.
Someone to be there to catch me when I fall and I don't even have that anymore.
It sucks. I feel like something was taken from me and it was all my fault.
I should have been paying attention some more.
I shouldn't have strayed so far, but you shouldn't have let me either.
You should have paid attention to me also. I can't be doing all the work all the time.
We both need our space, but you just let space get in the way.
Things got too repetitive and I need change sometimes. It sucks that you couldn't provide that for me or put things into perspective.
I am not always going to be the same person and I know you won't either.
I was hoping we could find what we lacked in each other and we did
but we both lost sight of it all.
Things weren't working and we were getting tired of working.
We let ourselves gather dust and we turned our heads the opposite way.
It's like sleeping in bed with our backs facing each other thinking different thoughts.
You just got too distant. You weren't in reach. You were too far away.

God. I was so numb yesterday. And now it hurts so bad. I don't know what to do.
I"m just so sad.